I discovered Mitski when I was in eighth grade. This was my first year in a new town and my family had moved across the country, from California to New Jersey that summer. I was still painfully homesick, and Mitski got me through the emotional turmoil of the move. This was the first time I remember feeling emotions physically. Homesickness is like a real disease, and it's the worst stomach ache you will ever have. It knots itself in your insides and hollows you out like a tapeworm. 

Mitski is not a person I know personally, though it often feels like she could be my mom. Well, not quite like that— more like my really cool older friend that I’ll eventually meet in college who will serve as a mentor (and maybe even a therapist at the same time). I never thought I would be one of those people who idolized a celebrity so much that I felt a deep emotional connection to them, but well, here we are. 

The rawness of Bury Me at Makeout Creek is what makes it so special. That and the detailed, finely crafted, emotionally powerful lyrics make it a masterpiece of neo-alt music. It’s also one of the most accurate depictions of young womanhood that has ever been crafted. Every Mitski album has themes of feminism, sexuality, and age but none so raucous as this one. From the song Townie, which addresses consent and peer pressure, Last Words of a Shooting Star, which addresses societal expectations, death, and mental illness, to I Don’t Smoke that discusses abusive relationships and Drunk Walk Home that ends with Mitski screaming at the top of her lungs— Bury Me at Makeout Creek truly captures the pain that is part of growing into yourself as a young woman in a way no other album has.

I’ve gone through phases with this album, particularly ones in which I’ve fixated on a specific song. In my early days of listening to Mitski, it was Francis Forever. That song perfectly encapsulated the mixed, vague emotions I felt in that harsh transitional period from California to New Jersey. As I’ve said before, homesickness is a palpable, a physical feeling. Like the loneliness of being in a place you don’t belong and a yearning for the past. The thing I miss most about California is the sunsets over the sea, and as I walk through my new town, the lyrics: “I look up at the gaps of sunlight/I miss you more than anything” become so real. While seemingly a love song for a person, Francis Forever became my love song for California. 

My next obsession was First Love/Late Spring. I remember sobbing as Mitski played this song at her concert at the Brooklyn Steel. This song means growing up too fast and feeling painfully vulnerable. Coming into a new school in the eighth grade was uncomfortable and awkward, I remember crying on my first day at my new school. One of the hardest things about moving is having to start over. I felt like I no longer knew who I was, and I didn’t remain true to myself, making up personalities and joining friend groups where I didn’t act authentically. Moving meant waking up to change and the harsh realities of life, something that many kids don’t have to face until they go off to college or enter the workforce. I often have regrets about this stage of my life, so hearing Mitski sing “And I was so young/When I behaved/ Twenty five” gives me reassurance that I am not alone in my experience. 

Living by the ocean creates an emotional attachment to water that you can never really let go of. When I first moved I felt a constant yearning to see the ocean, and have since found it at the Jersey Shore and various lakes and rivers. There is some innate quality of water that is able to cure sadness and force humility. While you can find this in many bodies of water, there is something about the limitless expansiveness of the ocean that makes you realize how small you are in the world. It's a grounding feeling. And in the song Texas Reznikoff from Bury Me at Makeout Creek, Mitski sings about water meaning home, “From the water, from the home that I've wanted to make”, but at the same time, we can make our own homes as well, and they can be defined by the people we want them to be defined by, “somehow, in the city, you make it there and you make it/Anywhere, anywhere.” This is a comforting feeling, acknowledging the fluidity of human emotions and love. Mitski helped me realize that while I may always love the ocean, I don’t have to be near it to find peace, home, and comfort. 

No other album has truly captured my experience in the first few years following my move the way Bury Me at Makeout Creek has. I believe that it is important to celebrate sisterhood and empowering women, but we can not forget how hard it is to be a teenage girl in this world. What Mitski does is create music that embraces these experiences unapologetically. She writes about common experiences you didn’t even know were common, and she makes you feel seen. Despite all the changes in my life, there has always been a Mitski song I could relate to, to remind myself that I am not alone. In a society that ignores the successes, intellect, and creativity of women and girls, there isn't much that's more emotionally important than that. 

Ally Godsil is a writer, artist, and creative from the NJ/NYC area. Her work focuses on social advocacy, community building, and female empowerment. She is an aspiring politician or diplomat but is also extremely passionate about poetry, painting, and photography. 

This Article was edited by EIC Kailah Figueroa

Copyedited by Tah Ai Jia